New Year..New Self..

The last morning of 2013…The countdown begins of the last hours of a year that has been trying and challenging..I am awake.. still and silent in bed waiting for the day to dawn..Silently I connect to my Higher self..I call upon all those aspects..those fragments of myself..that seem to be lost somewhere..I command them..to return and reclaim..I wonder about my origins..my family..before I took this embodiment..my physical vehicle..and how strongly I desire to return to where I belong..

Strange energies are pressing on me..The other night a voice.. was trying to tell me who I really was..whispering strange names..Playing beautiful shlokas in my ears..Another time animals giving me strange messages..Not that I could really decipher everything..What was to happen now ??

Suddenly my body jerks..I realize it is stationary but something is getting pulled out of it sideways..I am being pulled out..laterally..and then..with a gentle swish..I am out..and I am journeying..Now I am sinking..slowly..down and down..I suddenly realize I am underwater..and I can feel the bubbles. the sinking is calm and peaceful..very relaxing..I must have covered some depths..when suddenly I feel as if my legs have been folded..and I am getting propelled upwards..

I shoot upwards like a torpedo and out of the water. And up I go like a rocket..once again I travel some distance and then I am made to float..face upwards..A beautiful night sky looks down upon me..millions of stars and celestial bodies..its exhilarating..and I move gently forwards..as I travel gently..I pass a portal in the sky..there is gate..its shaped like a Chakra..a wheel..I count the spokes..7 exactly..I want to enter..but its not for me..I am only to relax and admire the celestial beauties above me..And then when it is over..I find that I have descended..I am on the bank of a lake and from there I am back..to where I was..in my bed..Slightly light headed but delighted with my underwater and cosmic adventures.

I realize I am multidimensional..A dancing configuration of energy..
I exist simultaneously outside time and space..
I can exist without limitation..
I can expand my inner world to encompass the Universe and beyond..
I am a Creative being..A Master of my own energies..
I perform my own miracles every day...♥♥

Love and light..And a New beginning to all..
Tejaswini..

Soham..The Song of the Breath..

The Sacred Breath..The Breathwork Circle..

Which Wolf Wins ??

                             

My busy everyday work schedule..In the midst of all the storm I try to find my centre..I manage to shut myself up for an hour during lunch time for my Kriya practice.I guess I am lucky..My people don’t disturb me..They know what I am upto..so except for some occasional urgent outstation calls I am mostly able to sail through 

Yesterday.. I am about to wind up my Kriya..A beautiful white apparition..A dog..Was it a wolf ?..Not clear.. Friendly but vigilant ..Pure white..He simply walks in through a door of my inner vision..looks around..our eyes meet..he gazes for sometime., and then he is gone..Thought it wagged its tail as well..Loved him..Wish he could have stayed longer with me..

As I think about his white sublime presence now..I’m reminded of this beautiful Native American story..

“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.

One is Black.. Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is White..Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Makes me wonder..what am I feeding my Mind and Heart with ? Is it Black or is it White..But nothing is really that Black and White in life..Isn’t it ? 

Am I happy..joyful..peaceful..loving..generous all the time ? Not really..I have my fair hits of highs and lows every day..Sadness..anger..regret..negativity.. they keep creeping in and out..off and on..

The trick is in recognizing and accepting the Black Wolf when it comes..and letting it slowly pass by..finding out ways to let it go gently....welcoming the White Wolf..when it does surface and nurturing it through any means that we possibly can..Yoga..Meditation..Exercise..Hobbies..Friends..Pursuits..
Passions..anything that fills life with joy,peace,positivity and direction....

Being at Home wherever I am..Experiencing the inner joy deep within me...Going outside..Looking at the stars..the rocks..the trees..birds and flowers..spilling that inner joy into song & laughter ..even tears of gratitude..becoming more and more available to opportunities that are to celebrate in life..Dancing in the storm 

A little wisdom..A little foolishness..

Being..Allowing..Receiving..Celebrating..

Thank you White Wolf for the gentle reminder....

Love and Gratitude 

The Wisdom of Kali

As I meditate on my Mooladhara Chakra.. the Root Chakra..gently breathing into the base of my spine.. the vision of Kali’s face suddenly looms up..Red tongue..big eyes.. but it is Kali with a difference…no violence..no intoxication..no anger..the face is peaceful ..the eyes are serene..they look at me..they radiate compassion and peace.. the eyes of a mother..the Kundalini Mother..

My first vision of Kali..in her benign form..I wonder what she brings..What wisdom does she awaken..I ponder and I search..

“..In Tantra the goddess or female force Shakti is worshipped. Shakti is the power of the Kundalini energy dormant in the Muladhara chakra.

When Kundalini awakens, we start to experience all the many aspects of the goddess as we go through a spiritual rebirth. These aspects are represented by the ten mahavidyas (ten wisdom goddesses). As we experience each of the manifestations of the wisdom goddess, we receive the lessons associated with that goddess as we approach self-realisation. One of the aspects to be experienced is the goddess Kali.

Kali in Sanskrit means time. In time everything changes, grows and develops and goes beyond time itself. Time is a conscious energy and could be described as a womb giving it a female connotation. We look back in time and see how we have changed and how we have no control on the birth, decay and death cycle, and we look forward which is inevitable. Time is precious, yet we lose it and we become attached causing suffering and grasping…Kali teaches us to give up our attachment and help us develop mastery over time.

Time is both creation and destruction. In order to create, we must destroy in order to make space for the new, which means we must first let go of the old, releasing our attachment to material nature and go beyond earthly bondage. In order to be delivered beyond our suffering we must relinquish ego and surrender it to Kali.

                                      

 Kali is the goddess of destruction and she destroys everything in her path except Shiva himself. Through our own life force (life force being prana, prana is delivered throughout the body in the blood) we experience time, and Kali is also represented as Prana, the divine mother of our life who gives us the vital energy and power for our bodily system. As such, Kali is associated with blood and is often depicted drinking the blood of all beings representing life digesting and renewing itself. Time is responsible for our death and decay, and that which has no real substance, meaning that Kali is also death in that she is the doorway to the eternal.

By meditating on Kali, you are meditating on the rhythms of life; death to life, life to death and beyond. Worries, anxieties, separateness and attachments will die daily if you meditate on Kali.
Kali also relates to the air element, Vayu as she is mobile, subtle and transformative. She is the lightening that transforms quickly, unpredictably and radically. Her perception of truth is like lightening, dissolving illusion. In our body, air exists as prana hence her pranic association..."

Love and Light..

The Rebirthing..

                                                           
14th August..another of my lucid dreams..

I am about to birth..Its the grand finale…of some kind of a waiting period..Something spectacular is about to be born !!!

There are two persons with me..Should be doctors but they don’t look like doctors exactly  They seem to be on top of the world..They look at each other..Its coming !!! Something that they have been waiting for..Then they leave to fetch something..

I am a mixture of awe,excitement and nervousness..
What is coming ??? I am perplexed myself..But otherwise I look quite all right..

And then people start streaming in..one or two I recognize but most of them are strangers..They look happy..perhaps surprised as well..they come to see me..The news is spreading and they keep coming..its like my entire soul family is descending !! I hug one or two of them..I say sorry to one of them..perhaps for something from the past..

And the moment draws near..and so does the awe and emotion..

At that point I am awake..Wondering what was I giving birth to..What creative processes of Emergence had I tapped into..

A New aspect of myself??
Intelligence or creativity I didn't realize I could summon up??
Fruition of a project or idea??
Manifestation of an opportunity??
Letting go of the past ??
A New beginning or experience ??
Clearing and Completing ??
Transforming and Transmuting ??

Whatever it was.. ..I know NOW is the time..The fruit is ripe..It is simply the right time ..I know I need to relax right where I am..and allow all of it to happen..in my work..in my relationships..in everyday life experiences..I must remain connected to my inner inspiration and creativity.. my truth..my emotions and my intuitive wisdom..happy..whole and complete..and allow all of it to simply flow through me..

Allowing..simply allowing..and remembering all the while that..

ALL IS WELL..ALL IS WELL..ALL IS WELL..:) :)

Love and Light :)

The Eye of God watches..

As I continue my inner work with my Throat Chakra..my dreams become more and more lucid..as I drift off to sleep meditating on my throat..the Vishuddhi chakra.. my dreams become my guides..the bridge between the physical and the astral..the conscious and the superconscious..The Vishuddhi Chakra is the seat of the astral body..in dream states the astral body leaves the physical body from the Vishuddhi..

A few days back..my dream showed me the most beautiful stellar sight that I could ever imagine..The night sky..A most beautiful blob of blue surrounded by a ring of white and orange..In the centre of the blue is a white sparkling star..And it pulsates and radiates streaks of the most wonderful energies in all directions..It looks like a huge eye..very very spectacular..mind blowing..

The image then recedes and it is replaced by a huge blue celestial body.. It is glowing with a shade of Sapphire Blue and this color was all around it like a blazing aura..Our very own Gaia..in her most resplendent glory..Somewhere behind the huge ball of Earth I can still see the Eye receding..They juxtaposition for a few moments and then it is the Earth all over..I can see the continents..India comes into my vision quickly..Covered with a haze..clouds perhaps..the continents roll by and then the seas..my vision takes me under the depths of the Antarctic Ocean..underwater vision..I am stunned at the magnificence of it all..Gaia’s abundance..her glory..and the unity..the oneness of it all.. 

                                                   

Later I search on the net..and discover that the Eye which I saw is Hubble’s view of the Helix Nebula..I had never heard of it earlier.. Wikipedia describes the Helix Nebula "as a large planetary nebula located in the constellation Aquarius. This nebula is one of the closest to the Earth of all the bright planetary nebulae. The estimated distance is about 700 light-years. The Helix has often been referred to as the "Eye of God" since about 2003."

One channelled message says about the the Eye.. "Enjoy this cosmic representation of the Omnipresent being who many call God. But notice that the eye watches you with kindness, warmth and love, not with coldness, cruelty or judgement. Fear not the scrutiny of God, but rejoice in the perpetual presence!"

Another source says “The outer orange ring of the Eye represents the energy of the astral world. The large blue center represents the causal world, also known as Christ Consciousness, or Kutastha Chaitanya (the Sanskrit word kutastha means “that which remains unchanged”; chaitanya means “consciousness.”) The white star represents the Infinite Cosmic God Consciousnes . The goal of meditation is to enter the white star and commune in bliss with the Infinite.."

Well..Helix Nebula is the remnant of a supernova that exploded aeons ago..This star exploded in a self-less act of love so that, from it, more stars and planets and life could form...The fact we can see this from Earth means that some atoms from the explosion are probably in every single one of us… We are sentient star dust…

And Mother Earth.. I wasn't sure if this is what she looks like right now, or if it was being shown to me as what is coming, but I am very grateful I was shown at all -SO BEAUTIFUL!!! This may have been given to me since I've been thinking so much about the Universe,our sun, the big Galactic sun,,Ascension,and most of all the Aquarian Golden age of Gaia..

And the most magnificent blues..Colour of the Throat Chakra as well..Blue is the energy of pacification, self protection, tenderness, and of loyalty.. It represents contentment and reunion with the Earth..Blue is healing..cooling, calming..it takes away pain..for me it has..and has also reinforced my spirit to expand myself to connect to my life purpose.

Love Light and Gratitude 

The Truth of the Vayuputra...

For the past few days I have been intuitively guided to work on my throat chakra..the Vishuddhi..Chanting..Kundalini Yoga Kriyas..Reiki..Meditation..Integrating all  

The Throat is the seat of one's personal Truth..inner will.. expression..this is where the process of manifestation begins..this is where all seed of inspiration exists..

As my inner work continues..to my utter surprise I find myself connecting to the energies of Hanuman..our mythical Superman.. the perfect man.. the gnana guna sagara ..the Vayuputra..our very own flying man (va+nara)…
                                           

I am not exactly a devotee and his appearance surprises me..Last time when he appeared he came flying..golden..from the sun..wielding his Gada and a Parashu..he approached..he greeted..booming in Sanskrit..Prana Pratishtha is what he talks about..this third eye experience left me absolutely awestruck..

This time as I meditate on my throat.. he is blue..the colour of my throat chakra..a blue face appearing amidst white clouds and a calm blue sky...My dreams turning more lucid then ever before..the Vishuddhi further takes me on to the realm of the mysterious and miraculous..a lady in my dreams is encouraging me to sing..I try to shirk..but she is encouraging..she tells me she has something perfect for me..and there it now plays in the background..the Hanuman Chalisa..Jai Kapis Tihu Lok Ujagar..I hear it clearly..Overwhelming..

I look into the symbolism of Hanuman..he stands for pure devotion, complete surrender and absence of ego or the lower self. He represents the lower or animal (neanderthal) nature in man, which when refined and transformed assumes miraculous powers and performs stupendous feats like Hanuman helping the lower self (Sita) and the Soul (Rama) to come together and become united and allows a firm foundation for the kingdom of God (Ramarajya) to become established in the body...
                             

Hanuman is thus symbolically the mind principle ever absorbed in the contemplation of God and totally surrendered to Him...

As "Hanuman", he is the one without any doubt (anuman) as to the existence of Rama (God). As Anjaniputra, he is the one who comes accidentally into this world, but by his efforts ascends to the greater heights of spiritual evolution...

As Vayuputra he is the breath body in us and can help the lower self (Sita) that is lost to ignorance to reunite with its true companion, the inner soul (Rama). As Veeranjaneya, he is the source of courage and confidence for many a timid heart.As Bajarangbali, he is strong in both devotion and physical strength…

And In the meantime I receive a gift of a cute little Hanuman idol from my sister..Wondering why of all deities she chose Hanuman for me  

The Mystery Lights..We are not alone :) :)

My Personal Disclosure Story...

My Home..in Hyderabad...

The Lake..From my window and balcony..

                         

And a view by night..

                     

 December 2012

Around midnight..In the dark skyline high above the lake..Stars are twinkling..the sky is clear..Just over with my meditation..Preparing to sleep..I happen to look up from my window..Up in the horizon and much below the stars..there they appear..

The Mystery Lights..Lights..flashing..pulsating..throbbing..blinking at an amazing speed..The rapid blinking makes it difficult to catch the shape..I look hard through the small glaring lights..And there it is..shaped like a disc..And the disc is more or less stationary..Looking at it long enough I realize that it is inching slowly..I check once again..By 4 a.m it has moved from one end of the lake to the other..

The next night..the phenomena repeats..and many nights thereafter..Almost till the end of the month..Sometimes there is one disc and sometimes two..and the blinking..pulsating mystery lights continue..I can view them from my bedroom window..I go to sleep watching them..sometimes wake up at different times of the night to see their progress..invariably by dawn every day they are gone..

Unfortunately I had no binoculars and no sophisticated night vision technology to capture a footage..and they were so far off to be captured by an ordinary digital camera..Here is a Google image which stands closest to what I actually saw..although the image below has much more clarity then what I viewed with my naked eye..

                            

Intriguing and awe inspiring..Viewing these lights was a strange euphoric feeling..it was like watching a higher dimensional reality with the physical eye..very uplifting..very very meditative..that is when I decided to connect to it with my mind..telepathically so as to say :) 

I sat on my window..my one pointed gaze on the lights.. till my eyes watered..then closed my tired eyes and looked into my third eye..all was light..brilliant light...bright white light...very high frequency vibrations emanating from the disc were reaching me..pulsating and throbbing..and my body started to shiver..uncontrollable involuntary tremors and quivers were rocking my body..it went on for sometime..and then it gave way to a flood of tears..I surrendered to the flow..and then the peace..a complete sense of calm and bliss..I don't remember when I dozed off to sleep in that state...

Then one night the lights disappeared..I waited every night..but they were not to return..On 29th December a small news report from the local newspaper caught my eye..I don't know how many of us paid heed to it..but I definitely did..

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/121229/news-current-affairs/article/prez-pilot-sees-%E2%80%98flying-object%E2%80%99-security-upped

The Mystery Lights..

What did they have to bring ??

Messages from our Galactic Family ??

Signals from our Star Brothers & Sisters ??

Highly Evolved Spiritual Beings..

Reaching out to us in Love and Peace..

Watching over us patiently..

Revealing their presence gently..

Inviting us over to the Galactic stage..

 I know..We know..

Our Galactic family is here..

Do you ???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ulWK-Ni-xiw

Love and light..

The Universal Vibration..Om..AUM..

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."[John 1:1]
 
AUM..The Primordial Sound..The Universal Vibration..The Seed Sound..The Soundless Sound..The Sound of All Sounds..The Synthesis of All Sounds..The Lifetrons, Electrons, Protons, and Atoms...AUM..

Aum=3 realms of time..A=Present U=Past M=Future...Beyond Time..Timelessness..AUM..
Aum=3 realms of experience..A=Jagrat(Waking) U=Swapna (Dreaming) M= Shushupti(Deep sleep)...Beyond Experience...Spiritual Awakening..AUM

Aum=3 gunas(qualities) A=rajas(ignorance) U=tamas(restlessness) M=satva(harmony)...Beyond the gunas...Nirguna...Pure Consciousness..AUM..

Aum=3 states of mind.... A=conscious  U=subconscious M=Unconscious...Beyond Mind..the Superconscious..transcending the 3 states..AUM..

 Aum=3 principles of existence A=Brahma(creation) U=Vishnu(sustenance) M=Shiva(destruction)..Beyond the 3 Principles.. Par Brahma..the Absolute Reality...AUM..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGDII7DmWx4

 

The healing power of OM can also be directed for the benefit of people not present in the circle. Places and life situations can also be healed by participants focusing upon them while chanting OM

 

The vibration of OM aligns all the vibrations within us, which are out of harmony with the resonance of OM. Entering into this vibration; we release negative emotions, thoughts and energy, and heal..physically, mentally and spiritually...

By chanting OM in the healing circle, the power of the mantra OM is enhanced and amplified. This has a combined effect of balancing and healing all the people within the group. The circle also sends out a positive vibration everywhere within the surrounding area, people and animals in the vicinity also benefit.
 

The Katha Upanishad..on AUM..

"The goal, which all Vedas declare, which all austerities aim at, and which humans desire when they live a life of conscience is Aum"
The one syllable is indeed Brahman. This one syllable is the highest. Whosoever knows this one syllable obtains all that he desires.This is the best support; this is the highest support. Whosoever knows this support is adored in the world of Brahma."

 

The Bhagwad Gita on AUM..

"Uttering the monosyllable Aum, the eternal world of Brahman, One who departs leaving the body (at death), he attains the Supreme Goal (i.e., he reaches God)."

Love..Light..Aum..

 

 

 

Going with the flow..a Future Life Progression Session

 

"...We can go into the future if it is done wisely..The future whether near or far can be our guide..The future may be feeding back into the present to influence us now into making better choices and decisions..We can change what we are doing now based on feedback from the future..And that changes our futures in a more positive direction....Think of what that means..As we had limitless past lives,so will we have limitless future ones..Using our knowledge of what went before and what is to come,we may be able to shape the world's future and ours..."
(Brian Weiss..One Soul Many Bodies..On Future Progression..) 

 

I bring together threads from a Future Life Progression Session for a NRI doctor which I facilitated recently..Her life aspiration..to be a practising physician in her new home..The path is difficult..Obstacles and hurdles abound..And the struggle is on..

Tunnelling through time..It all began with a Past life memory..

 

Peninsular India..A pretty little English girl..blonde with curls..She lives with her father..her mother and a white-brown dog in a cottage near a railway station..her mother passes away..her father marries again..she is happy with her stepmother..She recognizes the father as her brother-in-law in her current life..the stepmother is her real mother in her current life..

And so life goes on..and she grows into a graceful young lady..a nurse in a mental asylum..the asylum is peaceful and clean..It looks like it is in Kerala..the patients are well looked after..They are stoic and go about their daily chores quietly...There is an English doctor there..he is there to serve the locals..She recognizes him as her husband in her present life..

She is engaged to be married to the doctor..But it is not to be..She is heartbroken..crest fallen..he marries someone else..And then the fork in her journey..She renounces all..her job..her home..her family..only her dog remains..She puts on a white garb..her hair is loosened up..she is now a healer..the woman in white..mysterious..ethereal..somewhere near the backwaters..in a hut..her dog by her side..the locals flock to her..she cures..she heals..she gives medicine..the locals are happy..they wonder who she is..a saint perhaps..She is happy to be helping..healing..that is her mission now..

And then she is crest fallen again..She loses her dog..her only companion..he is no more..and she decides to move on..she wanders..from the waters to the mountains..she is peaceful..in harmony with the sky..the grass..the mountains..with nature..it is blissful..

And one day she leaves her body..a wise and all knowing soul..she floats above her body and she rises...higher and higher..the hyperdimensional space..there is bright light..Divine and protective..the light warms her completely..and from the light..a pair of hands emerge..pure white..the hands of her Masters..healing hands..they touch her softly and caress her..its love..sheer love..the Grace of the masters...

The hands now convey a message telepathically..Her journey is not yet over..she still has lives to lead..lessons to learn..she has to go back..and she is guided..she descends..floats down..like a leaf gently coming down with the wind..and as she descends..the hands holding her gently..take her on a whirl wind trip..all the places that she has been to in her current life are revisited..one after the other..like flashes...and with amazing velocity..she is overwhelmed..dizzy with the breakneck speed..

The hands then drop her gently..in the backyard of her present house..She sees her family..someone is camping in the backyard..food being cooked..people going in and out..she sees them but they can't..she is an observer..crossing all barriers of time and space..into a glimpse of the future..

She was crossing the timeline spontaneously..I encouraged her to go on..Telling her that it was all about growth and experiencing..it would help the mind to make proper and wise decisions..And there she was..the hands now took her to her future workplace..the place where she best belongs..a beautiful hospital in very scenic surroundings..She is a doctor..a practising physician..she sees herself going around discharging her duties...she sees her house..her garden..and she is happy..satisfied..her aspiration fulfilled..the struggle over..mission accomplished...peace and positivity prevails..

Yes..Future memories...The immediacy and strength of the memory was remarkable..She could look at a near future fork in the road and say..If I take this path what will happen..Would it be better to take another..Some part of her responded to the fact that past,present and future are one..occurring in simultaneous time..The future is now and and she could shape her nows by her actions..And highly possible that this peek into a probable future would come true for her..

"It is a system of probabilities and possibilities that we are constantly altering.Remember that all our individual futures are part of a universal arc,when those myriad individal futures coalesce with the higher spirit in the far future we will reach our goal"
(Brian Weiss)


 

Once Upon a Time..A Past Life Session...

Life is the train not the station..On our soul's journey home to a state of infinite love and wisdom..a journey filled with mysteries and miracles..we rest,recuperate and reflect at the station in between lifetimes,..until it is time to board again,another train,another body..There is only one home and eventually we will return there sooner or later..It is a place of bliss...
Dr Brian Weiss.. in Miracles Happen..

Shared below are the learnings from a past life session that I had guided..Reproduced from the blog "Figments"of a blessed friend who took the effort to pen down her experience of the session..an experience which opens the door to the recognition that our true nature is spiritual..beyond the body..beyond the brain..we are all connected..we are manifestations of one Source Energy..and the lesson is always love..unconditional love..

"My Life..Once Upon a Time..

Do all of us not wonder, what is it which is real and what is it that is just a belief? Don’t we have a huge confusion about the practical, real and tough life we lead and if there is anything beyond this life? Do we not wonder, if we had a past or if we still have a future beyond this life? I always did, I know we all do, except we thought that there are no ways to solve this mystery

I don’t remember what day it was, or what time. It was an uneventful day when I watched a trailer on TV. First impression…. Tacky, unreal and loud! Are you scared of water? Are you afraid to travel by a flight? We have the answers to your questions……. This is because of your past life….dive into your past and find out the reason….. Raaz Pichle Janam Ka, (Secrets of your Past Life).

But, however cheeky as it sounded, it did manage to arouse some curiosity in my mind! Can this be true? Or is it just one of those reality TV shows where nothing is real! Darn! The show started and the premiere had this lady reliving her past as she is afraid to travel by air. She was on a flight when she dies in her past life. Wow! Did that really happen? I watched a few more episodes and my confusion grew each day.

The only way I can find out the answer to these curious innumerable questions in my mind was by experiencing it. But that was not possible, and was a funny thought! In due course the show ended and so did my questions. All these questions had been transferred to the back of my mind till another uneventful day.

A friend did not keep her word to come over one night as she had to go to some group session. The next day I got to know that she went for a session on Past Life Regression. Three words which came bouncing back in my mind. “What did you see?” I asked her. “I did not; I was too tensed to concentrate.” Damn! “Well the others in the session did see something!” and then she narrated a few incidents, a few experiences, not as vivid as on TV, but wow something happened right?

“Can I get this done too? Is that possible?”
And then it happened. Chandana, my guide stayed not very far from my place. My friend took an appointment for me and there I was with my sister. When we went there, both of us were not sure who is going in. Chandana said she can do only one session a day and it had to be either of us, and I was the experimental rat!

She took me to a room with a single bed. The curtains were pulled down and the door was closed. I was instructed to lie down, close my eyes and relax. While I was trying to relax with her soothing voice, two voices were screaming inside my head. One with the will to stop thinking and listen to her carefully and the other voice was ridiculing me to even give it a try.

Then she said, “I know there are two voices in your head believe in both but try to follow the one which may lead you to discover something more about yourself.” That’s it! I will concentrate. I tried not to think, and relaxed. Her voice changed.

“Imagine you are looking at a clear blue sky, an airplane making rounds and the white thick smoke coming out is writing your name in the sky. Now imagine the wind slowly fades your names away. Now you don’t have a name, a name is not important! The bed you are lying on is very soft and comfortable and you are slowly sinking into the bed.”

With her guidance I imagined I was in front of a big door and after opening the door, I could see all my loved ones, whoever I cared for, everyone was in there in the big hall. They were laughing, eating cheering. As soon as they saw me coming in, they stopped, looked at me, smiled and started clapping. I could feel my eyes swelling and my cheeks wet. All my loved ones came and hugged me at once; I hugged them back in my imagination, as tightly as I could, as I could understand in the back of my mind what the next instruction was going to be. Then with her instructions I said bye to them. My heart was heavy when I was leaving through the opposite door. I smiled and waved them goodbye as they went back to do their chores.

Then as instructed I was walking on a windy path. I could hear the rippling sounds of a river nearby. When I reached the bank of the river, I saw a boat, filled with cushions. I was instructed to untie the boat and lie down on the cushions and feel the boat gently move downwards, taking me on a ride to the years long gone in my life

             

When the boat stopped by for the first time, I was told that I will see an incident of when I was 12 to 14 years old. What I saw amazed me. This had been years back! My cousins, my sister and I were up on our terrace. The sky was filled with kites. One kite was flying so low that I reached for it and caught hold of it. We jumped to the ground so that the owner who was desperately trying pulling his kite back could not see us. All of us were rolling on the floor… laughing!

The second time the boat stops, I am 4 or 5 years old. We are walking down the road near my old house – my grandfather holding me and my sister. As we walk on the road, we see these small yellow flowers lying on the road. My grandfather loves them, they smell so good! We start collecting them and then we reach the sweet shop. We sit on the thin old benches and have the exact sweets which mom had instructed us not too. The doctor had strictly advised him to stay away from sweets, so every evening we would make this secret journey to the sweet shop and come back home with sparkling eyes hiding a funny secret.

The third time, I saw myself in two big hands with blue gloves. I was tiny, the light all over was hitting me, I was crying. “Can you see anyone around?” she asked. “Hands lots of hands, I said and Ma. She is in a lot of pain and she’s very tired.” And then suddenly I could feel my facial muscles stretch into a smile. “Why are you smiling?” “My sister has come! She is so small…we both are so small, but she’s here!”

The last journey to this life was when I was in my mother’s womb. It was pinkish and comfortable. I could hear Ma talking! “Can you hear anyone else?” “Yes of course! She is talking to my aunt.” “Can you feel your sister inside?” “Yes! Our knees are touching!”

The next journey was a long and tiring one. I was made to cross a foggy bridge and was requested to jump at the end of the bridge where I see a lot of light. I am scared to jump! I walked down another lane and opened a small black door this time. There was a spiral staircase and when I looked down. I could see a beautiful light… not too bright but a very comfortable light. With a count down from 10 to 1 had to reach down the stairs and get into the light!

“Can you see the floor? How does it feel?”
“Umm! I can’t see properly…wait I feel it. It is a marble floor, it is white!”
“Can you see your feet? How do they look?”
“They are white, red nail paint! I am in a big house!”
‘Describe the house to me, try and look around!”
“Well, I am in a huge room…marble floor, white walls. The borders of the walls have golden traditional designs on them! The ceiling is beautifully designed! There is a big marble table with beautiful chairs. There are corner stands… and…and there is a mirror!”

“What are you wearing? Look up your body! Look at your face, how do you look?”
“I am wearing a white silk gown! I see my face in the mirror…. Big eyes, I have big eyes and a very pleasant smile.” I could feel myself smiling again. “Brown hair”, I said smiling, “I have curly brown hair!” I was smiling because I always wished I had curly long hair!
“Ok! Do you have anyone around you?”
“No! I am alone!”

“Well, you must find a door! When you open the door, you will find your family there!”
I opened another door and saw two beautiful children playing!
“You said you see children! Are they yours?”
“Yes! They are mine! A daughter and a son aged about three and four! They are smiling at me! My daughter, oh wait, she  my sister! She was my daughter then.

                
I could feel my eyes swell up again, my breath heavy. “Hug them! Hug your children and kiss them!” I hugged them, with all my mind, heart and soul! “Oh how I love you both, Sarah! Davis!” and I kiss them once again!
“Can you see your husband around?”
“No! Where is he?”
“Ask your children, they will know!”
“He is away, I don’t know where, they said he is away!”

“That is ok. Open another door and he will walk in.”
I open another door, and there he was, he was wearing some kind of a uniform… white shirt and white pants! I try to look at his face! “It is so vague!” I tell her. “Pull him closer, look into his eyes closely, do you know him? Call him by his name!”
“John!” I called out John. But I could not recognize him. “Ask him to call you by your name!”
I could hear a faint voice in my head, very low at first, and then a loud clear voice said, “Sharon” “My name I Sharon!”
“Where are you? How old are you?”
“London! I am in London! I am about 26 years old!”

“In the count of five, you will reach a very significant period in this life! 5...4...3...2...1!”
I was sitting outside my house! I was crying! I could not bear the pain anymore… why? Why me?
“Why are you crying?”
“I am alone, I don’t have anyone! I am all alone!”
“Where is your husband? How old are you now? Where are your children?”
“I am 38. Everyone has left me! I am all alone! There is no one around me! I feel so lonely!” I kept sobbing; I could not take the pain anymore!

Now we will go back to a point in your life when this incident happens! In the count of five!
I was in my room, with my children! This time I was sobbing harder. “What happened?”
“My husband… he is no more! He couldn’t come back!”
“Where did he go?”
“He went to fight! There was a war! Our children are small! Why did you leave me? Why? You didn’t have to go!”
“What year is this?”
“1856!”
“Calm down! Breathe easy! We will now go to a stage of your life when you were much older… and once again the countdown began.

I was standing outside my house. My children have come to visit me. I am about 50 years old. I have a big smile on my face. I was content and happy! I could hug my children again! They love me a lot!
“Ask your children what war was it, where their father died!”
“The war was not here! He went on a ship, far away!” was all I could utter!
“Now you will reach the moment when you died.”

I was about 80! I was lying on a white bed, feeling very cold! I saw my children around me and a few small children holding my hands! I could feel their soft fingers!
“Are these your grandchildren?”
“Yes!” I smiled.
“What happened to you? How do you feel?”
“I got pneumonia. But I am content. I have to go now.” I stated as a matter of fact!

“Leave your body and slowly let your soul rise!”
I could feel myself floating away from my old shriveled body. My children help me and cried!
“I am sorry, I really am!”
“Who is sorry?”
“Me!”
“Why?”
“Because, they are in pain, they did not want me to leave!” I sobbed! “I love you all!”
“You are a soul now! A wise soul! Stop crying and think about the pain you are carrying with you!”
“I am scared! I am very scared to be left alone! I am very scared to lose my loved ones!” I sobbed.

“Leave your fear in your old life! You will not carry it over to this life! Leave all your pains and sufferings and fears…. Let them end with your old life! Tell me what you learned from this life about yourself?”
“I can fight! I am strong and will not be scared! I will face life bravely like I did!” a voice in my mind said aloud!
“Good! Rise and let your soul float away! Tell me what you feel! Do you feel anything beside you?”

“Wings! I have wings! I am floating!”
“Do you see anyone?”
And then I saw him! A white pure figure! So soft yet powerful, that I felt like melting! He was old, long white beard! I sat down near him, my hands on his knees, and his hands over mine. His eyes were so kind, as if he was reading me.
“Who do you see? This is your angel! Ask him his name!”

                 

I was confused; this might be Jesus, or Guru Nanak or Sai Baba! But they are all one! Whoever he is I held his hand tight! “God, he is God!”
“Thank him! Thank him for your past life, thank him for the life you have now, thank him for everything around you!”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I kept repeating…..
“Pray to him! This is the time! Ask for whatever you want! He is listening to you now! Tell him whatever you want!” I prayed….
“Ask him if he has any message for you.”
“I will always be protected”
“Ask him if he has any message for me.”
I smiled and said, ‘Be happy!”

“Is he still there with you?”
“Yes! I am holding his hands!”
“Let go of him, he has to go!”
I left his soft hands. He disappeared into the bright light!
“You will now come back to your life. You don’t have any pain in your body or mind anymore! You are a very happy person! Lift your palm to your face, rub your eyes and get up!”
I got up, in the dark room. My eyes were burning and wet with all the crying. I had some water and went out. My sister and my friend were waiting for me outside. I was cold! My friend hugged me tight and the tears came rolling down as I looked into my sisters eyes! Sarah!

LATER:
My sister and friend searched Google for a war during 1856. It was the Crimean War (October 1853 – February 1856).
My parents were shocked to hear me relate the story of my past! My mother was more shocked that I could remember the time I was born.
My brother, though disappointed that I did not see him in my last birth, tried to hook on to every silly little details I could provide.

I could not sleep that night. All the thoughts kept bothering me. My mind filled with more questions? From whether there were nail paints back then or was I day dreaming and these were figments of my imagination….

The questions have increased in number, so has the conflict between real and unreal! But in the end, I believe, I trust! I am thankful for whatever I have in life now, all the people I have now and all the ones I’ll leave behind. I love you all and I still love you John, Sarah, Davis.."