My Param Purusha

In my mother's womb..In a state of higher consciousness..The centre of my Pranashakti..my feminine force..the Kundalini shakti is alive..active..vibrant..the divine power Kundalini shines brilliantly like the stem of a young lotus...

 Then the Birth trauma...And my primordial energy becomes dormant..it sleeps..Like a snake coiled around herself..she holds her tail in her mouth and lies resting.. asleep...in three and a half coils..at the base of my Sushumna..in the hollow of my Kula Kunda..a long..long sleep..

Can it go on sleeping like this ? I know I can let it lie dormant.. as long as I inhabit this physical body..But the moment this body is discarded...the Chitta Shakti will be forced to rise..Come,the Death moment and Kundalini Sadhana will be thrust upon me..whether I like it or not..it will be made to rise through my Sushumna...my Granthis...my Chakras.. an opportunity..to merge with the Clear Light above..the light of the one and the only one..His light..What I make of this Sadhana in my death moment..is upto me alone..It is entirely possible that in the fear of my dying moments I may lose the chance to recognize the Clear light..But if I have awakened my Kundalini in my living moments...with practice and Sadhana..I know I will make the best of this chance..the chance for my highest transformation and evolution..and the final union..

So I decide to awaken it...my mission is arduous ..it is anti gravity..antiworldly..but I know I have to stir it..I have to evolve and expand..I'm restless..My Kaal Kundalini..is to ascend..breaking the barriers of the Brahma and Vishnu Granthi ...rising upwards through the Sushumna..breaking the final knot..the Rudra Granthi..rising above my Sahasrara..the final unification with the Adi-Parashakti...Union of the masculine and feminine..Bhagwati with Shiv Shiva..And after the cosmic union..resting finally in my Anahata centre...permanently...

The journey is long..very very long...may take ages..lifetimes..many trials and tribulations..But it has already started...Kundalini rises in spurts..temporarily..Satori experiences...brief episodes of Anand Darshan..ecstasy and bliss..Glimpses of Samadhi state..As the Kundalini touches my subtle centres..Yet it comes back..

I yearn even more..I yearn for the bliss..I grapple with pain..I'm engulfed with emotions..that defy description..I struggle with the Sanskars that the rising Kundalini awakens..pleasure and pain..I would like to recollect my Kundalini experiences later..Sharing them all..

Today I am lovelorn..for my Param Purusha..Like Krishna's Gopis..Krishna's wives are His Ashtsiddhis..His Dharas..the downward currents..gravitational..But who is his beloved ?..Reverse Dhara and it is Radha..Radha and Radha alone..The upward current..Antigravity...the Kundalini energy..Pure spiritual energy..

I want to be her..and I wait...More and more tapas..more and more purification..This is what He wants..Till then I wait..My yearning intensifies..To become one with my Param Purusha..The Sita-Ram Kalyanam..The Sada-Shivam Realization..The final bliss..Ecstasy forever..the ultimate Ananda..Sat-Chitta-Ananda..